Since the Oklahoma City Bombing, there has been an uptick of spontaneous memorials which are ones that appear by people coming together after loss. These tend to happen more if the loss was tragic, examples being mass shootings or car accidents. A positive thing about this kind of memorial is that people are able to express their grief openly. Unfortunately, some people find these memorials distasteful and want them to go away.

These are part of the material culture of death because of the objects left behind, particularly notes, flowers, and photographs. Placement of these and other items can help people release their grief. Going to these memorials can be helpful emotionally, and people feel more open to cry as well as read and touch the items present. More of these memorials appear each day, and the hope is that this will lead to more open, socially acceptable mourning.

Cybermemorials occur on the Internet, particularly on social media or online obituaries. Like spontaneous memorials, people may not like them because they are such an open way to express sadness at a loss. This feeling can be worsened if the death was caused by suicide or an overdose. Regardless, these memorials have a certain amount of permanence, particularly on social media. The people are seen as physically gone but still present because the social media from life hangs around.

When grievers use social media, they can leave messages for the dead both on timelines and through private messages. Grievers find this normal regardless of the kind of message being sent. In more public forums, other mourners can join in on the conversation to help the group through their loss. This ability can also be negative though – when holidays or special events involving the dead come around, the mourners may be hurt by the loss again. Sometimes, even though people embrace continuing bonds, they don’t want to be reminded that their loved one is no longer physically here.